friend: i have a boyfriend
me: whats up
friend: we totally made out last night
me: ok so how are you
friend: in love with my hot boyfriend
vickedhipsterpink: One day while watching Black Butler: “OMG! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! THEY’RE ACTUALLY FU—” ….. ………. What a troll… soo true
jolieing: The Avengers 2 is a GO! Like we didn’t know. Pffft.
zooey deschanel: is that rain?
iphone: no. that's actually acid falling from the sky.
zooey deschanel: let's get tomato soup delivered!
iphone: there are restaurants that deliver tomato soup? you've got to be kidding me. wait, no. yep. there sure are.
zooey deschanel: good, cause i don't want to put on real shoes.
iphone: yeah, i'd hate for you to ruin your new pair of toms.
zooey deschanel: remind me to clean up... tomorrow.
iphone: i'll do anything to get you to leave me the fuck alone.
zooey deschanel: excellent. today, we're dancing. play 'shake, rattle and roll.'
iphone: first let me download a gold star for you and your offbeat song choices. you sure know how to move to the beat of your own drum, zooey!