1. safety-officer-barto:


    There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.


    (via ridinghi)

  2. rogwalker:

    In the neighborhood.

  3. (Source: memewhore, via jwillson)

  4. tyleroakley:


    out of context, this is sweet. but in context, tina’s mom was encouraging her to read out her erotic zombie friend fiction in front of the class

    still sweet

    (Source: sannao75, via thewolfchildfury)


  5. oomshi:



    eat my ass

    My mom said I had to eat my vegetables first

    I respect that

    (via ridinghi)

  6. nagitok:

    "what did this man do, officer?"

    "he just… he just did everything

    (Source: hobnobbly, via thewolfchildfury)

  7. newleafnewlove:

    Marshal feasting upon ur tears,sweat,time and $$$$ while getting the chicks.

    (via fuckyeah-animalcrossing)


    1. Me when I first joined Tumblr: Oh, I already reblogged this. That's too bad.
    2. Me now: I reblogged this every day for the last three weeks and I'mma do it again. I don't give a fuck.

  9. "One day you will ask me which is more important? My life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life."
    — Khalil Gibran (via psych-facts)
  10. notquiteluke:

    this is some next level british grandma carpeting

    (via loveyourchaos)


  13. When I’m telling a story and a friend interrupts:


  14. onlyaclickaaway:


    Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.

    Me: What black pen?

    Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.

    Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?

    Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.